for the first time i feel wicked

or a bitch whichever one works better at this point i dont know. my stupid compostion teacher wants us to write essay on something that is completly crazy that someone made us believe in excluding of course santa clause and the easter bunny, and fuck i dont know i was a fucking kid, i dont remember shit from last week much less when i was kid, and my dad doesnt know, and my mom doesnt know and blake doesnt know, but he is willing to write my paper for 10 bucks, which by the way i dont have, cause i baisicly cleard out my savings to pay for my cell phone bill today, and then my credit card bills(both of which are maxed out by the way) are due very soon, but im negative 238 dollars in my back account so my entire paycheck will go to paying that off, which leaves no money for the credit cards which means i wont be able to pay them which means ill get my first, and second, late payments, which will really fuck up my credit rating, which contrary to popular beliefe ive worked very hard to to keep good. and im so fucking tired from work all the early mornings and over nights, and then trying to make time for family and friends, and i just cant do it...i mean i can cause i have too, but i dont want to, oh and not to mention that im really tired of being fat and unatractive and lonely, weather or not any of you view me as that, thats how i view myself, and thats not gonna change anytime soon. im also tired of being broke...which is my fault i know, please understand that this post is in no way a plea for sympathy or anything like that, its just how i feel, i love you all very much though!!!!